Ten stages in life, thinking of how we change behaviour

I've been doing some of this thinking with my various workshops mostly in the mobile space. About how people go through a major change in life, and how that presents opportunities for new services, products, sales, and also of changes in loyalties.

I've often looked at it in the mobile space with eight relevant changes in our lives, starting with puberty, the first time we start to set our own path and preferences, rather than those of our parents, which also has big impacts for mobile phone choice and of operator (carrier) preferences etc.

So yesterday I happened to be talking about this with a colleague here in Hong Kong, and I was struck by the fact that while for mobile phone and service sales, yes the teenager youth puberty age break, at about age 15 is the first relevant change, there actually are still stages in our lives before that. We have a previous significant break at about age 6 or 7, when we learn to read. Roughly at that time we can become computer literate for example, able to Google etc. I recall Alan talking about his son Joseph and how Joseph before he could read and write, would ask his father to "write in the computer, dinosaur game" or "write in the computer, motocycle game" etc. Young Joseph did not know how to read or write yet, but loved videogames, and understood kind of instinctively, that Google existed, and if daddy wrote into (Google), then any videogame that young Joseph could imagine, would also be found (by Google)..  But yes, clearly there is a previous age break, around that time, maybe 6-7 years of age, when kids learn to read and write, and suddenly they can become literate in the digital world.

So. Rather than 8 age breaks relevant to mobile telecoms business, there is a previous one as well, so there are 9 age breaks (at least, perhaps even more) and thus we get 10 stages in life. Ha ! Gotta blog about that, eh?

So, here my thinking..  I do believe most brands, products, companies and services can find new opportunities for new customers, for selling new and different services, and find the risks of losing long-standing loyal customers, when the changes happen with these stages.

First stage is the young child. The baby, the toddler, the "rug-rat"..   The under 6 year olds who will accept almost whatever their loving parents give them and tend to be very content with that. Not really aware of a world far beyond the immediate family, and with not many friends and contacts and outside influences, beyond perhaps childrens TV programmes that they might watch together with the parents.

Second stage (and thus first change) is literacy. The approx 6-7 year old learns to read. And goes to school and discovers friends not selected by the parents or not out of the back yard of the home. New friends, new influences. Now things like brand competitiveness starts to emerge, I want Levis brand jeans, not the ones mother had suggested, etc..  But most importantly for readers of our blog, any digital media will not be powerfully (probably fully) able to be used. Yes, we have lots of videogames and basic computer programmes for even younger kids but after they learn to read, they can go Google and discover the digital world for themselves. If for some reason you don't have the PC and connection for them at home, soon they will find a best friend who has a PC and broadband in their room and suddenly spend a lot of time visiting that friend.

The third stage is puberty. From about age 15-16 maybe 14. Now kids rebel. They want to excert their own identity, they refuse to take their parents suggestions and ideas and services. Things that are "not my parents" choice are particularly appealing. A kind of MTV generation is here, the rebels. Experimentation with alcohol, sex, drugs. Possibly big shifts in the behaviour. The desire often develops to leave the home (soon, as in a few years)

We all go through these first three stages. The next six are all optional, some happen to most, some only for perhaps half the population.

The fourth stage is leaving the home, and I like to say this is the "going to university stage" even though it may be going to serve in the military, or it may be really just leaving home to set up an apartment elsewhere, or moving in to live with the girl friend/boy friend etc. This stage is the first time the person has to take care of himself/herself. It means no curfews, can party all night, get as drunk as they want, etc. If its the university option (as in moving to another town and living on a college campus) it can be very "free" with very few limitations and still strong support from home; and at the other extreme is the military option, which is very restricted with lots of rules and probably much more tightly controlled than the last year or two at home. Nonetheless the person goes through a radical change again. What is typical of this stage, is that the young adult is not very well off in terms of money and disposable income. (Note some people never leave home, and eventually take over the family house or farm or business etc)

The fifth stage is the first job. Note this can happen simultaneously with the above, but can also happen years after the previous, ie if the person goes to college and then graduates four years later and gets a first job. The first job is when we feel like millionaires. The first paycheck, it seems to last forever, we go on major spending sprees and still find lots of money left over in the bank. How soon that changes..  But yes, this is a major opportunity for spending and for new experiences.

The sixth stage is marriage. This won't obviously happen to everyone, and it may happen sequentially, ie many times. But the first change from single status to married status is the relevant change. I'd argue in many cases the commitment to move together and live together as partners is also equivalent to the married stage. It means that some of the late night partying is diminished, the family unit starts to plan for common household investments, the couch, the new bed, etc.

The seventh stage is the first child. It sometimes again happens without the marriage/living together stage, but often follows after that, and obviously not all families have children. But yes, the first baby into the family changes it drastically. Now the needs of the child come first. Priorities are totally changed.

The eighth stage is not desired, but happens to more than half of marriages and obviously to the far majority of all cases of partners living together; it is divorce (or break-up). The previous happily married parent turns into a single adult, and returns to the singles-scene. A different style of dating and partying lifestyle happens here and all kinds of lifestyle needs, from new fashionable clothes to fitness etc are suddenly an interest.

Note that the second marriage and second divorce and third marriage etc cycle can repeat many times. But these would produce generally a similar change in behaviour, ie the change from single to first marriage, would be far more similar to the change from second single to second marriage; than say the change in puberty or first job etc.

The ninth stage is grandparent. Not all get to this stage, and obviously you have to have had at least one child to be able to get there, but many older people do get there and it again changes priorities. At this stage the person is also old enough to mostly have paid off mortgages and car loans etc, perhaps retired or nearing retirement, and thus well-to-do in terms of disposable income. And suddenly the delight of grandchildren to give new and different meaning to life. And a particular need to connect with that age. I often point out that grandparent age people usually learn to send SMS text messages and MMS picture messages, not by messaging with each other, but rather by first connecting with their grandkids.

Ok, and the last stage is retirement. We all get there (obviously unless we die before that) so its the fourth stage that we all necessarily go through before death. At retirement we also have lots of time and often good disposable income as well. But now things like personal health matters are ever more important.

So there, ten stages. Not everyone goes through all ten. Not everyone goes through them in the same order. And some may be repeated several times. But these ten are rather universal and give good foundation for understanding how we face situations that force us to change our behaviour. And for clever brands out there, in particular those involved in the digital space, these ten can give chances to differentiate. If you can help your customer over the change, you should have a happy loyal customer for the next stage..

Give us your thoughts, this is a works-in-progress kind of thing. Like I said, I had used it in my mobile workshops only as 8 changes rather than 10 stages, so part of this is still very draft and new to me as well.

Comments

[david cushman]

Tomiu, I heard yesterday psyhologists are now using the term teenagers to mean aged 15-30!

[Alan Moore]

Shit - I thought that they included mean up to the age of 44 :-(

Damn.

Thanks for posting Dave.

Alan

[Tim]

44? Alan you know you're a digital immigrant - they'll never give you the passport back!! :-)

[Alan Moore]

damn :-)

[tim harrap]

After the flippancy guys a few comments to make on this question of stages.

People working with biography, personally and in workshops often work in 7 year phases and you can see some of that in Tomi's framework. The story goes something like:
0- 7 years building the physical body
8-14 developing the emotional life
14-21 emergence of the ego "bodily maturity up to 21"

21-28 a solidfication of the ego/strengthening and independence
28-35 deepening of life experience leading to....
35-42 psychological maturity "42 when you are truly an adult"

42+ there are more gradations here and onwards leading to potential "spiritual maturity".

I aim to respond to an author in a journal I recently read who was very concerned with the impact of the digital age on our way of life. I felt like he offered a snapshot and it was all doom and gloom. There are issues to address I am sure but there are also evolutionary aspects for individuals within their own biographies. The suggestion that a certain group are "digital natives" and others "digital immigrants" I think masks the impact of natives becoming immigrants. For example I feel that Martha Lane-Fox, whilst at the forefront of the dot-com boom with Lastminute.com, has grown up and is contributing to the business field in a more adult and reflective way. The Blyk generation will age and be superceded by the next generation.

The writer in the article was concerned that the machinery was taking over peoples lives such that they reported they could not live without their mobiles for example and the psychological impact of this was bad.

I am a firm believer in the strength and purpose of the human race and what happens is that although people do get immersed in the technology their on-going experience can actually awaken their inner voice to take control of the technology and far more importantly take control of their own lives - apart from the technology.

[Tomi T Ahonen]

Hi David, Alan, Tim and tim harrap

Thanks for the comments. I'll respond individually to you all:

David - ha-ha, yes. I think its that Generation C behaviour, as we say in the book, it extends far above the traditional age limit of teenagers ie into the 20s, but you kind of "have to" be very heavily addicted to SMS texting to be part of Gen-C, so we see essentially all of the 20-30 year olds in advanced mobile countries (like Scandinavia, Italy, Israel, Singapore, even the UK..) exhibiting that behaviour. But in "laggard" industrialized countries like the USA or France for example, the 25-30 year olds tend not to show this pattern, and it is more in the 20-25 year ages only, and even there not necessarily uniformly (all under 20 year olds belong to Gen-C).

So yes, I think there is good reason for it. The behaviour of teenagers over the decades has been "similar" in revolting against the parents and having their little protests, whether it was punk rock hairdos of the 1970s or the piercings and tattoos of the 1990s etc.

But suddenly, Generation C behaviour (for any readers - this means a near-telepathic permanent connection to peers - ie sending SMS text messages to best mates even while talking to one's parents or sitting in the dinner table) creates a radical break with the past that transcends the mere age break, rather it does create a new generation. I sometimes call this a new human evolution, "Homo Connectus" the connected man, as opposed to Homo Sapiens, the rational man..

Alan - I'm still negotiating with them to raise the limit of teenager to 48 years of age ha-ha..

Tim and Alan - ha-ha..

tim harrap - good comments. I think there is a parallel to these two views, and probably also, the 7 year cycle hits moderately well statistically with things like divorces (at the interval of roughly 7 years or 14 years or 21 years). But I think there are a couple of those changes that can happen within a few years (the 15-25 age area) ie leaving the home, having the first job, getting married and having the first child) which each cause a radical change in behaviour, even if it would not really be a "different stage" in the human development..

I think part of the changes that I discuss, are results of modern life in the industrialized world, ie living in cities, getting non-trade training at universities (a well-rounded education that applies to a wide range of jobs) and the rapid pace of modern life with all the changes (switching jobs, homes, partners, etc).

I see synergies, but I do think they are two distinct phenomena. I'd suggest the 7 year cycles could be found all through history in human development..

As to the doom and gloom of pervasive digital technology. I don't mean to be dismissive of other considered views, especially as I haven't read the article you refer to; but lets remember Charlie Chaplin's movie Modern Times of the 1930s. This was not a radical view of technology ruling lives; it was a very pervasive view that we were becoming victims of technology, that Chaplin so brilliantly lampooned in his famed masterpiece.

Modern digital technology is not inherently good, nor is it inherently bad. It is new technology. Like with all technolgoy, there will be good applications of it (helping a father who is working late, make a video call to his 3 year old son at bedtime) and there are bad applications of it (happy slapping).

We as humans will adjust to it, find good and bad uses of it. Some who are naturally inclined to enjoy new things will soon find delight in the new technology. Young people tend to be like that, but there are plenty of older people who like new technology and there are also younger people who hate changes in their lives.

The big issue for humankind facing digital disruption, is to adjust. Some will fear technology - many used to fear computers, still some do so today. Not everybody "has to learn" to use a computer, but increasingly modern life becomes quite cumbersome if you don't have basic computer skills and some access to computers, whether it is doing your banking or filing your taxes or scheduling an appointment with the teacher of your kids, etc...

Now as the mobile internet expands, a simpler technology allows even less threatening technology to be used for such cases, often via SMS text messaging on the phone. As every economically viable person on the planet already has a mobile phone, and today all of those phones can do interactive data services (and 78% of all mobile phone users are already reading or sending basic text messages) - the barriers to a digital society are reduced (but not eliminated).

It then brings about such issues as the invasion of our private time, the nagging feelings of having to respond to messages (similar to what most white collar workers feel when looking at their email inbox, all those unread or unresponded emails, that they should try to get to) etc.

There is a great book that discusses this, that tim I think you already know of, but just in case, you might want to pick it up. Its Distraction by Mark Curtis, subtitled being human in a digital age. Its a brilliant work discussing these very issues and with very human and relevant view points.

Thank you all for writing

Tomi Ahonen :-)